IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than repair existing items. why do you think this is ? how can this trend be reserved?

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It is true that modern society has been influenced by fast-trends of producing fragile
items
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 that are irreplaceable, and society has become defined as “disposable” rather than fixing them.
This
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 essay will discuss the primary reasons for
this
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 trend and give solutions for some practical ways to reverse it. The main reasons why people prefer buying new
items
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the cheap and low quality of
products
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. As a fast trend, influencing
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 demands of
products
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 that are rapidly produced with low quality of materials to supply the increasingly needed
products
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 in the market. To illustrate, selling at the lowest price with unqualified standards is a way of company making excessively money by containing low-grade materials in goods that produce non-lasting
items
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 .
Furthermore
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, fixing a bad quality
products
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 are required a replacement business which would cost half or even more of the original prices,
For instance
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, some
parts
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 of
items
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 has minor broken is required specialty services to closely look after,
such
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 as small part of the clock were missing, they would charge more than 60 percent of the price that not including find a restoration.
This
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 is leading many consumers to simply upgrade because the maintenance is not worth
if
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it
show examples
 compared to buying new ones. To reverse
this
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 trend, simply by government should take action on controlling product condition standards ,
along with
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 a regulation of providing minimum insurance so that
items
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 cannot be charged for reconstruction by manufacturers.
In addition
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, the company should consider making spare
parts
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 accessible for a local mend
service
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 to take out the cost of difficulty finding replacement
parts
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 and decrease their
service
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 surcharge to allow consumer considering to get their goods fixed rather than throwing them away.
Moreover
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, providing repair manuals in public sources for individuals to be able to patch by themself and help minimise the high of handcrafted
service
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 to avoid unnecessary loss of money. In conclusion, the move toward a disposable society is largely driven by the low-grade materials and the high cost of repair
service
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.
However
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, by implementing stricter laws on controlling product condition and accessible replacement
parts
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, we can shift back to a more sustainable way of living.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You explain why people buy new things and how to stop this, but some ideas are not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and more direct topic sentences. This helps the reader see your main idea fast.
task response
Develop each main point with one clear reason and one clear example. Some examples are hard to follow now.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, for example, and however. Some sentences are too long and hard to connect.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus in each paragraph. Do not put too many different ideas in one body paragraph.
task response
Check sentence order and make cause and effect clearer. At times the reader must guess your meaning.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disposable society
  • Consumer culture
  • Status symbol
  • Globalization
  • Built-in obsolescence
  • Cost-effective
  • Repair skills
  • Environmental consequences
  • Resource depletion
  • Recycling
  • Right-to-repair legislation
  • Sustainability
  • Economic incentives
  • Circular economy
  • Refurbishing
  • Product lifespan
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