IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Millions of dollars spent on research every years. some people argues that the money should be spent of improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

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Spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 enhancing people's lives is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
essential.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, doing research on health and
scentific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 things will change the way individuals
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay. I will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail, and
then
Linking Words
 I will give my own opinion. First and foremost, everything on
our
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 daily basis
made
Verb problem
is made
show examples
 by intelligent scientists; they study and strive to understand the
inbelievbel
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
 things.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we have a fair
place
Punctuation problem
place,
show examples
 it's because
who
Correct pronoun usage
whoever
show examples
 made it
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and they have to take a lot of money. If they want to study the
environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
show examples
 they will need to go to the forest
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and need equipment. Because of that, the subsidy form government is vital.
Secondly
Linking Words
, simple people are trying to get a job and have a good life.
However
Linking Words
, the insufficient
fainance
Correct your spelling
finance
 against them. I think improving the standard of living should be considered first.
Then
Linking Words
 everything will work out. But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somehow we understand the difficult situation people get
because
Change preposition
into because
show examples
 they can't afford the basic things. The solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that will be to try to help the nation with useful information and tips. From my perspective, in
development
Replace the word
developing
 countries most
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 give high wages, at the same time have a strong economy, but in poor countries they
almost
Verb problem
are almost
show examples
died
Replace the word
dead
,
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 have any motive to expand their trade and spend money. In conclusion, I think taking everything step by step is the most appropriate idea. I totally agree
building
Change preposition
with building
show examples
 the base
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to solve other problems
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 important than
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on temporary goals.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say early if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this view the same in all parts.
task response
Add more clear main ideas. Each body part should have one main point and then explain it well.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect in a simple way. Start with a topic sentence, then explain, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear. Use basic link words well, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid sentences that are hard to follow. Shorter and simpler sentences can help your writing flow better.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, so your essay has a full shape.
task response
You try to discuss both research and living standards, so you stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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