IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

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Nowadays, most of the time people spend most of their time on social media wether it is contacting other people or watch news.In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will talk about the
advnatages
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advantages
 of it and if technology
outweights
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outweighs
 the disadvantages. First of all, the best thing about social media is that it is very easy to get connected to each other and
instant
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instantly
 it
wont
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won't
 take more than a second i believe
to
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, to
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 get in touch with someone.Second thing, information sharing
have
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has
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 become much
more
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apply
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easier
so
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, so
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 that means quick access to news and knowledge.
Finally
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,
buisness
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business
 promotions which
helps
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help
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 small companies to grow and expand their profile to other people
not
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, not
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 just locally but even globally. Moving on to the disadvantages, privacy risks can be so much danger when misused and even just by
few
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a few
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clicks
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clicks,
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 it can be shared worldwide.
Secondly
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, reduced face to face interation
which
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, which
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 plays a big role in real life and even affects
on
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apply
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confidence.
Thirdly
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,
is
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there is
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 distraction
it
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, which
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 may get somone get distracted from urgent
works
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work
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 or education. In conclusion, there are many advantages of technology
as
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, as
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 mentioned earlier in the essay
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such
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, such
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 as instant connection
,
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and
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 information sharing. And even it
outweights
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outweighs
 the
disadvnatages
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disadvantages
such
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 as privacy risks,lesser confidence,mental health issues,
distractions
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and distractions
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.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more real.
task response
Develop each main point more. Do not only list ideas; explain how and why they matter.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Break long sentences into shorter ones to make your meaning easier to follow.
task response
You answered both sides and gave your opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is clear: good points first, then bad points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • keep in touch
  • stay connected
  • social media platform
  • instant message
  • share updates
  • breaking news
  • real-time information
  • false information
  • fake news
  • trusted source
  • face-to-face communication
  • screen time
  • online pressure
  • daily life
  • low-cost communication
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