IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the workers more. To extend do you agree or disagree ?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In the modern world, it is undeniable that globalisation has
mad
Use the right word
made
show examples
 it easier for skilled
workers
Use synonyms
 to move between
countries
Use synonyms
 in search of better opportunities. Some people argue that wealthy nations should not employ
professional
Check wording
professionals
show examples
 from poorer
countries
Use synonyms
, as those
countries
Use synonyms
 need their skilled workforce more.
Although
Linking Words
 some may support
this
Linking Words
 view, I am opposed to it
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that allowing skilled
workers
Use synonyms
 to migrate can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 both the individuals and their home
countries
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, professionals who work abroad often earn higher incomes and may send
back
Check wording
money back
show examples
 to their families, contributing to economic development in their home nations.
For instance
Linking Words
, remittances from
oversea
Use the right word
overseas
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
from
Verb problem
are
show examples
 a significant source of income for many developing
countries
Use synonyms
. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
.
individuals
Fix capitalization
Individuals
show examples
 who return home later may bring new skills, knowledge, and experience that can strengthen local industries. Another point that should not be overlooked is that completely restricting skilled migration could limit personal freedom and global cooperation. To clarify, people should have the right to choose where they live and work, especially if better opportunities exist
elsewhere
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, preventing doctors, engineers, or teachers from working abroad may reduce their motivation and career prospects.
Instead
Linking Words
 of banning recruitment, governments could develop agreements that encourage training programmes, temporary migration, or knowledge exchange to ensure benefits for all
countries
Use synonyms
 involved. TO recapitulate, it is evident that
although
Linking Words
 poor
countries
Use synonyms
 may lose some skilled
workers
Use synonyms
, migration can
also
Linking Words
 generate economic support, knowledge transfer, and personal opportunity
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I believe that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should not be prevented from employing skilled labour from poorer nations, but international cooperation should be strengthened to ensure that both sides benefit from
such
Linking Words
 movement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body paragraph.
task response
Add one more clear example to make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more so the reader can see how and why they work.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some are good, but a few feel forced or not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection between ideas. A few parts stop too fast or have small grammar mistakes that hurt flow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear topic in each paragraph and develop it fully.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a good order and are easy to follow.
task response
You use relevant ideas about money, skills, and freedom.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: