IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

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Several
people
Use synonyms
 engage with social media to connect with other
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 and consume
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 events,
therefore
Linking Words
,
technologocal
Correct your spelling
technological
 advancement makes
huge
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a huge
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 impact on
peoples'
Check wording
people's
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 social life.
This
Linking Words
 trend has both merits and demerits. I believe the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of advanced
technology
Use synonyms
outsine
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawbacks. There are several compelling reasons why science and
technology
Use synonyms
 improves peoples' life. The chief one is
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 it makes
easier and lively communication
Correct word order
communication easier and lively
show examples
. In the
last
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 decade, messengers often sent
informations
Check wording
information
show examples
 by
post-cards
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postcards
, which
take
Wrong verb form
took
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 around
few
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a few
show examples
 months.
However
Linking Words
, because of
variety
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the variety
show examples
 of innovations, it has completely changed now. These days,
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easily share their
feeling
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feelings
show examples
 and share details
by
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through
show examples
 advanced chatting
applications
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, with the help of
applications
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such
Linking Words
 as
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 and
teams
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Teams
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 easily connect with their
loved-ones
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loved ones
 and share emotional
messeges
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messages
.
However
Linking Words
, there are certain disadvantages that cannot be ignored. The major one is
,
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 these
applications
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sometime
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
 become addictive. To explain, these
smart phone's
Correct your spelling
smartphones'
applications
Use synonyms
 serve as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 entertainment tool, which constantly gives dopamine to our brain.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 become slave of their mobiles. To add
this
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 has been noticed that many parents having fear of
over using
Correct your spelling
overusing
 these platforms by their younger children.
At the end
Linking Words
, in the future, these children
lacking
Wrong verb form
will lack
show examples
 concentration and creative thinking abilities. In conclusion, the merit related
with
Change preposition
to
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technology
Use synonyms
 is
it
Correct word choice
that it
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transform
Correct subject-verb agreement
transforms
show examples
 the way of
comminication
Correct your spelling
communication
, which is
truely
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truly
 encouraging. But it has some flaws like addiction, which is
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 concern. In my opinion,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 users spend calculated time on
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
applications
Use synonyms
than
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, then
show examples
technology
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always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
 beneficial.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Say clearly why the good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Give one more clear and real example to support your main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more. Some points are good, but they stop too early.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences do not connect well with the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few sentences feel hard to follow because of grammar and word form problems.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph shape with main ideas in each body paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • keep in touch
  • stay connected
  • social media platform
  • instant message
  • share updates
  • breaking news
  • real-time information
  • false information
  • fake news
  • trusted source
  • face-to-face communication
  • screen time
  • online pressure
  • daily life
  • low-cost communication
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