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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that governments should invest more money in public transportation, while others believe that building more roads is a better solution to traffic problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today’s
globalized
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globalised
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 world, the issue of whether governments should invest more money in public
transportation
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 or build more
roads
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 has become increasingly prevalent. It is a subject of heated debate, with some individuals
emphasizing
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emphasising
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 the numerous benefits associated with public
transportation
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,
while
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 others highlight the potential
advantages
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 of constructing more
roads
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.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives, weighing the merits and disadvantages before presenting my own viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, assessing whether investing in public
transportation
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 is advantageous requires careful analysis. Many argue that public
transportation
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 plays an indispensable role in contemporary society, influencing social, moral, and economic aspects.
For instance
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, it reduces traffic congestion, lowers pollution levels, and enhances the
overall
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 quality of life. A report by The Daily Star revealed that over 80% of individuals experienced notable improvements in their daily commute
due to
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 efficient public transport systems, highlighting its importance in modern life.
However
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, opponents contend that building more
roads
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also
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 comes with its own set of
advantages
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. They argue that it can directly reduce traffic congestion by increasing road capacity and improving connectivity between different areas.
Nevertheless
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, it may
also
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 lead to several negative consequences that affect not only society at large but
also
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 environmental sustainability. One major concern is the potential harm caused by excessive road construction, which could lead to long-term global issues
such
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 as increased pollution and urban sprawl.
Therefore
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, it is essential to carefully evaluate these drawbacks before fully embracing its
advantages
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. In conclusion, investing in public
transportation
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 and building more
roads
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 both have significant
advantages
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 and notable disadvantages.
While
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 the negative aspects of each approach cannot be ignored, I firmly believe that the benefits of investing in public
transportation
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 in today’s world are more substantial and essential for sustainable progress.
Nevertheless
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, a balanced approach is crucial to ensure that the positive effects are
maximized
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maximised
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while
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minimizing
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minimising
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 potential harm.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your opinion, so this is good. But your ideas are still quite general. Add more clear points about why more roads may help in some cases and why public transport may be better in the long term.
task response
For task response, use more real and clear examples. The example about a report sounds weak because it is not explained well. A simple example from a city or daily life would be better.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is strong. But some sentences are long and repeat similar ideas. Try to make each paragraph focus on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link your ideas more directly. Words like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'as a result' can help the reader follow your thinking more easily.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the second body paragraph mixes good points and bad points about roads. It would be clearer if you first explain why some people support roads, then explain the problems in a more ordered way.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and clearly say your own opinion in the end. This matches the question well.
task response
For task response, your position is clear: you support more money for public transport, but you also see the need for balance.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words such as 'to begin with', 'however', and 'therefore'. This helps connect ideas.
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