Some schools require their students to wear uniforms because they believe it helps the students focus on their schoolwork rather than on their clothes. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

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Some schools require their
students
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to wear
uniforms
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as they believe it can help
students
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to focus more on their studies rather than on their
outfits
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.
While
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there can be some benefits to
this
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approach, I do not agree with
this
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idea for several reasons. On the one hand,
standardized
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standardised
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uniforms
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can bridge the gap between social inequalities. To clarify, at schools, there are
students
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from different families
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such
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, such
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as rich and
students
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from poorer backgrounds. If there is no fixed uniform, some
students
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can wear luxury and beautiful
outfits
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,
whereas
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others cannot afford to buy them and feel insecure about their clothes.
As a result
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, they might think a lot about
this
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inequality and perform worse during the lessons.
However
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, with school
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uniforms
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uniforms,
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all of them will look similar and
do
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will
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not think about what they should wear.
Additionally
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,
this
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also
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saves time
,
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;
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instead
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of choosing
outfits
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, they can spend more time on their studies.
This
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is because sometimes it can be really hard to choose clothes and time-consuming.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that
students
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should have the freedom to choose their clothing.
Firstly
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,
outfits
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reflect our individuality
and
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, and
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it is a way to express ourselves. To clarify, everyone has their own style
,
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;
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some people may have an eccentric style
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while
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, while
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others may prefer other styles. If
students
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wear clothes that
suit
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suits
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them, they feel more comfortable
and
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, and
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it boosts their mood.
As a result
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, it
also
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affects academic performance.
Moreover
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,
uniforms
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are
standardized
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standardised
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for everyone without considering
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students’
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the students’
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body shapes. We are people
and
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, and
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we all have different body shapes
,
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;
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some of us are slim or overweight and different body shapes require
for
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apply
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particular clothing designs.
For instance
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, I prefer oversized T-shirts
andpants
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and pants
because I feel more confident in them,
while
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my friend prefers dresses. We are both happy and concentrate better on our tasks when we can wear
a cloth
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clothes
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that suit us and are
comfy
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comfortable
. In conclusion,
although
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uniforms
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can be
time saving
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time-saving
for
students
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and similar for
everyone
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Everyone
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, I personally think that the freedom to wear whatever they want has a positive effect on their mood and confidence.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You discuss the view and give your opinion, but your opinion side is a bit stronger than the other side.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear with shorter and cleaner sentences. Some parts are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your example about your clothes is useful, but one more school-based example would make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Sometimes the jump from one sentence to the next feels sudden.
coherence and cohesion
Check repetition. You repeat words like 'clothes,' 'style,' and 'body shapes' many times. Try to vary them a little.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with paragraph flow. In a few places, the idea is good, but the sentence order could be better.
task response
You answer the full question and clearly give your opinion.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and mostly easy to understand.
task response
You give reasons for both sides, which is important for this task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple link words like 'on the one hand,' 'on the other hand,' and 'in conclusion' well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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