IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the United States between 1970 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The chart displays the consumption of two types
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 of
milk
Use synonyms
whole
Punctuation problem
, whole
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
 and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
low fat
Correct your spelling
low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 America from
1970s
Correct article usage
the 1970s
show examples
 to
2015s
Check wording
2015
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,whole
milk
Use synonyms
 significantly decreased over the entire period with
remarkable
Correct article usage
a remarkable
show examples
declined
Replace the word
decline
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
low fats
Correct word choice
low-fat
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
 sharply increased throughout the years. In detail, in
1960s
Correct article usage
the 1960s
show examples
whole
Punctuation problem
, whole
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
bagan
Correct your spelling
began
 with around 25 per capita, which
the
Verb problem
was the
show examples
 highest over the years But,
then
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 by
year
Use synonyms
 started to
diminsh
Correct your spelling
diminish
 the numbers,in 2015s, reached the lowest
nearly
Punctuation problem
, nearly
show examples
 around 5 per capita,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was approximately under
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 third compared to 60s. It can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 fats
milk
Use synonyms
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 phase was roughly
below
Fix capitalization
Below
show examples
 10 per capita,
suddenly
Correct pronoun usage
it suddenly
show examples
 started to increase
year
Use synonyms
 after
year
Use synonyms
,between
90s
Correct article usage
the 90s
show examples
 until the end of the
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 remained stable for about 25 years with no dramatic
jumping
Replace the word
jumps
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
low fats
Correct word choice
low-fat
show examples
milk
Use synonyms
 rose from the bottom and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the
damand
Correct your spelling
demand
 in the market.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 whole
milk
Use synonyms
 was
commenly
Correct your spelling
commonly used
 in used at the first decade,
value
Correct determiner usage
its value
show examples
of it
Change preposition
apply
show examples
became less

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the ninth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • comparison
  • preference
  • significant
  • decline
  • rise
  • trend
  • gradual
  • surpass
  • pattern
  • shift
  • healthier options
  • approximately
  • amount
  • between
  • overall
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