Governments spend a lot of money on public celebration such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spend too much on this and they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that the
Government
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is investing in public
celebrations
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celebrations,
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whether they are national holidays or cultural festivals. Some individuals argue that the authorities should limit their spending and consider other
sectors
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as well. I agree with
this
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view, as I think improvement in infrastructure is essential for
the
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apply
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long-term economic growth. Undoubtedly, public celebrations can bring together people from all walks of life
,
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apply
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and make them connected to their country. National holidays and festivals help people to share joy, meet others, and
remind
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remember
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their history. These local events help small-scale
business
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businesses
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to flourish. Many people spend on food stalls, sweets, and
on
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apply
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souvenirs, which
contributes
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contribute
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to the economy.
However
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, despite these benefits, I believe the
government
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should prioritise other important
sectors
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instead
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of spending excessively on organising
such
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events.
Firstly
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, the
government
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should allocate more funds to the
education
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sector. Most of the students are deprived of
education
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as their parents can not afford the higher expenses. If the official authorities provide free
education
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to the schools and
universities
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universities,
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then
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children can
fulfill
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fulfil
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their academic goals, and tackle issues like poverty, unemployment and crime.
Moreover
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,
healthcare
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the healthcare
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and transportation
sectors
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should not be ignored. By offering free medical check-ups, diagnostic tests, and affordable treatments, the
government
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can improve the well-being of citizens.
Similarly
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, investing in public transportation
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such
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, such
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as building roads,
connect
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connecting
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roads to metro stations, and improving bus networks, can reduce
the
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apply
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traffic congestion
,
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apply
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and
supports
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support
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economic growth. In conclusion,
although
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public celebration has
their
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its
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own importance
but
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,
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I think the
government
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should consider other important
sectors
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such
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as
education
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, healthcare, and transportation for
the
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apply
show examples
sustainable economic growth.

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task response
Task response: Your main view is clear, and you stay on the topic. To get a higher score, explain your ideas more fully and add one or two clear real-life examples.
task response
Task response: You talk about education, health, and transport, but some points are general. Show more clearly why money for festivals is less useful than money for these areas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good. To improve, make the link between ideas smoother with simple linking words like 'also', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are not fully clear or are a bit hard to follow. Try to keep each paragraph focused on one main idea and explain it step by step.
task response
Task response: You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Task response: You include more than one reason for your view, such as education, health, and transport.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has four clear paragraphs, with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most ideas are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your message.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public celebration
  • national holiday
  • public festival
  • government spending
  • public money
  • waste money
  • useful things
  • local business
  • bring people together
  • sense of unity
  • national history
  • daily life
  • health care
  • public school
  • road system
  • balanced view
  • spend too much
  • careful plan
  • support the economy
  • in my opinion
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