IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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By social
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Social
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media's
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media
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 and different studios demonstrate a significatly controversial convictions about physical
strength
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 or mental
strength
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, debating which one is more appropriate in the
sport
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sports
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 world. From my point of
view
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view,
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 these tendencies are important for our development during sports
but
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, but
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 absolutely no more than physical
strength
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. The meaning of mental
strength
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 has been developing
those
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in recent
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 days, because scientific researchers
shows
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show
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 the crucial benefits
part
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apply
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of the brain during exercises, that
propose
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it
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 is
following
Correct word choice
beneficial
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 for a lot of athletics, since the
appeared those
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appearance of these
 critical studies. I believe that your mind plays an important role in your working routine, though
corporal
Use the right word
physical
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strength
Use synonyms
still
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is still
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been
Wrong verb form
apply
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surely better in all circumstances. The mental care
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 jumped
this
Linking Words
 decade increasingly, now mental topics
has
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have
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 become more pronounced in the fitness community, some people have demonstrated the changes
of
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in
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 their
body's
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bodies
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. Physical
strength
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 followers believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 just
a
Correct article usage
an
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 illusion of their mind during the process. I don't think that our minds are not important
across
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throughout
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 our lives
but
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, but
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 physical attitudes
still
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are still
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 given more confidence to me.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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this
Linking Words
 new idea is getting trending in the riches country's, as the Europeans or the North Americans,
instead
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 of Latin Americans, Asians or Africans
still
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, still
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 believe that old methods are crucially indispensable to
development
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the development
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 of the perfect bodies.
To conclude
Linking Words
we
Punctuation problem
, we
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are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a potential
projects
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project
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 to find different ways to improve our performance or
strength
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. Population will be increasing with controversial,
positives
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positive
 or
negatives
Correct word choice
negative
show examples
 convictions to discover which is the best.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why body strength is important and why mind strength is important, then give your own view in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear main ideas for each body paragraph. One paragraph for body strength, one paragraph for mind strength.
task response
Give one simple and real example for each side, like a runner, boxer, or football player.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Avoid very broad talk about many world areas if it does not help your answer. Keep all ideas close to sport success.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easier and more direct. This will help your essay move in a clear way.
task response
You gave your own opinion, and this is important for the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both mind strength and body strength.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraph breaks, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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