IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below show the condition of paradise island in the past and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two maps illustrate the past and present layout of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Paradise
Island
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the place has
ungergone
Correct your spelling
undergone
 significant transformation, with new facilities, infrastructures, features and recreational areas being introduced, some natural areas being replaced
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the geographical shape of the
island
Use synonyms
 has
being
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 changed. In past, the
island
Use synonyms
 had norticeably less features and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the space
occupied
Verb problem
was occupied
show examples
 by nature
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 features like a natural spring, a scientific research station and a small pier. At present,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Paradise
Island
Use synonyms
 has more organised transportation routes and more facilities when
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the past,
such
Linking Words
 as a cafe, an area dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 BBQ, a swimming pool
a
Correct word choice
, and a
show examples
hotel complex. The research station has been replaced by a hotel complex.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 most of the amenities and
fatures
Correct your spelling
features
 are for tourist attraction
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some areas are developed to do more activities
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the
island
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as a cycle path, and
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
 permitted beach area, a larger pier and
also
Linking Words
 a loockout view point.
Besides
Linking Words
, the natural tree area which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in the middle of the
island
Use synonyms
 has been cut down to construct
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 open
restaurent
Correct your spelling
restaurant
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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