IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 2 1st Century, and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rate S. What problems are associated with this and what are some possib le solutions.

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It is acknowledged that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming is the most significant issue that threats human race in the 21st Century, and the water in
seas
Correct article usage
the seas
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 is
proceeding to go up with
Verb problem
rising at
show examples
 an alarming
speed
Check wording
rate
show examples
. The main reasons for that are
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 and deforestation.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be solved by
people
Use synonyms
 saving more electricity and fines imposed for cutting
trees
Use synonyms
 down. One of the reasons for rising temperatures is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 widespread clearing of
trees
Use synonyms
.
Trees
Use synonyms
 consume
carbon
Use synonyms
gases
Check wording
dioxide
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, so when they are being cut down,
this
Linking Words
 beneficial feature can no longer help our planet. The second reason is
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
, which can be caused by the burning of fossil fuels and
overusing
Replace the word
the overuse
 of electricity.
For example
Linking Words
, big manufacturers pollute
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 with harmful gases and
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who choose
to
Verb problem
apply
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not
switch
Verb problem
to switch
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 off the lights
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 when they don’t need them or drive their car even when they can walk. The stated problem can be solved by
fines
Verb problem
imposing fines
show examples
 being imposed on
people
Use synonyms
 who cut down
trees
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 deforestation should be forbidden worldwide. It can
also
Linking Words
 be solved
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 by
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 taking action,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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saving up some energy, and using new green technologies.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can use electric cars
instead
Linking Words
 of ordinary cars or even switch to bikes and public transport, they can
also
Linking Words
 switch off the lights
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when they do not need them. By doing
this
Linking Words
, they will reduce the overheating of
earth
Correct article usage
the Earth
show examples
 and
emissions
Use synonyms
 of
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide. In conclusion, the problems that cause global warming,
such
Linking Words
 as
emissions
Use synonyms
 of harmful gases and
Use synonyms
trees
Check wording
tree
show examples
 pruning,
however
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 issues can no longer exist if
people
Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
use electricity more rationally and if governments implement fines and certain laws.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say what problems come from sea level rise, then give solutions.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some parts talk about causes of global warming, not problems from rising seas.
task response
Use more specific examples about flooding, loss of homes, and danger to coastal cities.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and keep the focus on that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and hard to follow. Make them shorter for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple paragraph plan that is easy to follow.
task response
You give some solutions, like saving energy and using public transport.
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