The graph below shows how people buy a music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates the percentage of listeners who buy different types of

music

Use synonyms

(streams,downloads and CDs purchased) from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

, the dominant type of

music

Use synonyms

became streams in the final year,

although

Linking Words

their

Fix the agreement mistake

its

show examples

initial point was the lowest

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with other methods of sales.

In contrast

Linking Words

, CDs purchased

music

Use synonyms

delivery was the most popular at the beginning of the period,

then

Linking Words

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

steadily went down every year.

Moreover

Linking Words

, downloads

Use synonyms

music

Change preposition

of music

show examples

sales repeated

those

Fix the agreement mistake

that

show examples

trend with some fluctuations in the middle of

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

the period given.

Firstly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most people chose

Check wording

CDs

show examples

to listen to

music

Use synonyms

in 2011, approximately 55

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of consumers bought that one. Gradually, it decreased until around 25

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the final year.

Whereas

Linking Words

, streams

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

totally unfamiliar at the start

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

a point at about 5

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, and became favourite at just over 40

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2018.

On the other hand

Linking Words

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

changed

music

Use synonyms

downloads level

also

Linking Words

, it was fluctuating and reached a peak of over 40

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2014, and

then

Linking Words

consequently

Linking Words

declined to 30

Use synonyms

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

during a four-year-period.

manabayeva.makhabbat.b

Apr 26, 2026

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, percent with synonyms.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

178 words

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