IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Learning the difference between right and wrong at a young age is important for children. Punishment is seen as a necessary part of helping them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? What types of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach children good behaviour? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Learning in young age how to take the right path is vital for
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childern
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children
,
punishment
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seen
Verb problem
is seen
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 as
essintial
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essential
 to correct behaviour. I will discuss in the essay
about
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whether to
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 agree or disagree with the
statment
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statement
 and
types
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the types
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 of
punishment
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should
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that should
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use
Wrong verb form
be used
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. In my opinion,I agree with it
but
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, but
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 in
reasonable
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a reasonable
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way
Add a comma
way,
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 not all the time
use
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punishment
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 in order to help them understand the
thigns
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things
 they should do or should not do,
beacuse
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because
 excessive
use
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 of rules may
effect
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affect
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 the
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child
Check wording
child's
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 behaviour in the future. There are many types of manners to
quide
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guide
 the
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childern
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children
 and teach them
to
Change preposition
apply
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not
do
Verb problem
to do
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 it again, includes try to avoid talking with them for
period
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a period
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 of time, to make them
realize
Change the spelling
realise
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 that you are upset and sad
due to
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 their mistakes.
In addition
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 to avoideness of useing the smartphone is
way
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a way
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 to let them think quietly about the wrong thing that they commit.
Also
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beneficail
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beneficial
 discussion with
the
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apply
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them is
way
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a way
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 to give your opinions as parents or teachers
and
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, and
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as well as
Correct word choice
apply
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the
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childern
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children
 will give some
views
Punctuation problem
views,
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 try to correct and help them to discover the right things. Strong
punishment
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 like yelling and
violence
Replace the word
violent
 things
that
Verb problem
are
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 not the
soultion
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solution
 for the problems,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may
attend
Verb problem
lead
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 to more
ciritical
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critical
 situations and lead to impect on
the
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apply
show examples
mental health. The parents should always be careful with every
child
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 conducts and
use
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the
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an
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 effective
methoud
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method
 to fix it.
Moreover
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, a lot of studies
approved
Verb problem
have shown
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 that the wrong punishments for
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childern
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children
 have
bad
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a bad
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 influance for all their
lifespan
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entire lifespan
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, on
Punctuation problem
. On the
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 other hand involve discussions with the
childern
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 is very important to understand your
child
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 more. In
conclution
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conclusion
, never
use
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the
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apply
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physical or
psycholoical
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psychological
 abuse, small
talks
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talk
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 with the
child
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 and explain in
language simple and clear
Correct word order
simple and clear language. Also
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,
also
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 to have good relationship
important
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is important
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 for the
child
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 to listen
carefullay
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carefully
 to the caregivers.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more fully. Say more clearly how much you agree, and give more on what teachers and parents can do.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it with a short example.
task response
Add a real or clear example, such as taking away screen time or giving a short time-out, and say why it works.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect in a smoother way. Some lines jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentence order clear: topic sentence, support, example, then result.
task response
You answer both parts of the task: your view and kinds of punishment.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you agree, but only in a careful and fair way.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like also, moreover, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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