Some people think that public health is a the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your

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In today's
globalized
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globalised
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world, the issue of public
health
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has become increasingly prevalent. It is a subject of heated debate, with some
individuals
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emphasizing
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emphasising
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the role of the
government
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,
while
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others highlight personal responsibility.
This
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essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. ​
To begin
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with, many argue that the
government
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plays a major role in public
health
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.
For instance
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, the
government
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builds hospitals and provides clean water for everyone. A report revealed that over 80% of
individuals
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experienced better
health
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when the
government
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provided free vaccines.
Therefore
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, the
government
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is essential to provide basic healthcare for all citizens. ​ ​
However
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, others argue that
individuals
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should
also
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be responsible for their own
health
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. They contend that personal choices, like eating healthy food and exercising daily, are very important. One major concern is that if people have bad habits, it could lead to long-term issues like heart disease.
Therefore
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, it is essential for people to take care of themselves to stay fit. ​ ​In conclusion, public
health
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depends on both the
government
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and the
individuals
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.
While
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the
government
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’s support cannot be ignored, I firmly believe that personal effort is
also
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essential for a healthy life. A balanced approach is crucial to ensure that everyone stays healthy and
diseases
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that diseases
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are
minimized
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minimised
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.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your view, but your ideas are a bit short. Add one more clear reason for each side.
task response
For task response, use more specific examples. The vaccine example is helpful, but it feels general and not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs. To improve more, link ideas inside each paragraph with words like because, as a result, and for this reason.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some main points need more support. For example, explain more how government action improves health, and how daily habits affect health over time.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and clearly give your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, simple linking words like to begin with, however, and therefore help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
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