Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others think other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

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Many people think that family has the most impact on their
children
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's behaviour.
However
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,others believe that other things can affect their
children
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and influence them.I agree with
this
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sentiment because kids can be affected easily, and stick with the same mindset until they grow up.
It is clear that
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children
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spend a lot of time with their parents
,
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;
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they see their actions and movements all day long.
Moreover
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, a
child
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can obviously see , mark, and memorise their mom's or dad's behaviour.
Furthermore
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, there are many parenting ways that can easily convince young people to believe and imitate morals and values. A glance from their parents or a response may force the
child
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to obey and take
actions
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action
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.
Therefore
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, most of the
children
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grow up
grow up
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apply
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reflecting their
parent's
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parents'
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behaviour, lifestyle, and education.
On the other hand
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, other factors can influence how a
child
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behaves.
For instance
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, some
children
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can express their feelings with music
, when
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. When
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they feel depressed, they listen to sad songs
,
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.
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In contrast
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, whenever they sense happiness in their
souls
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souls,
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they will be attached to joyful beats and soundtracks.
In addition
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, a
child
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can be addicted to something they adore, and they take inspiration from it and turn it into a habit that continues in their lives or even in their childhood memories
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such
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, such
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as friends
,
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apply
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and
Tv
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TV
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shows . In conclusion, I agree with people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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assume that families build
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children characters
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children's character
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and
shaping
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shape
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their values.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about family, but the other side is short.
task response
Give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it strong in the body and conclusion.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like however, for example, because, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence breaks. Some long sentences need a full stop.
task response
You answered the question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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