IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagre?

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Parents
Use synonyms
 need to be more
with
Correct word choice
involved with
show examples
 their
kids
Use synonyms
 and help them with their
homework
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
parents
Use synonyms
 can monitor
children
Use synonyms
's progress and help them to explain topics if
Use synonyms
children
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 didn't understand
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
. The main reason why
parents
Use synonyms
 should do
homework
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 their
kids
Use synonyms
 is that they can explain some things in other ways to understand.
In other words
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 know their
children
Use synonyms
 well
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can explain topics better than anyone.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 stronger relationships and
belief
Check wording
beliefs
show examples
 between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
kids
Use synonyms
 can rely on their
parents
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 anytime they need help.
For example
Linking Words
, they usually can spend around 30 to 60 minutes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
homework
Use synonyms
 or giving
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
child's
Check wording
child
show examples
 feedback. Another reason why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement is that
parents
Use synonyms
 can monitor their
kids
Use synonyms
' progress and motivate them if
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, doing
homework
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 together gives many helpful things
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as fixing
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 mistakes, motivating them to work harder
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
also
Linking Words
 reduces stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending time with family
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
kids
Punctuation problem
kids,
show examples
 not only reduces stress, but
also
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 energy and positive feelings which can produce happiness. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
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,
organism
Correct article usage
the organism
show examples
 will be healthier
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 life expectancy will be longer.
For instance
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 can promise to buy something valuable to motivate
him
Correct pronoun usage
their child
show examples
 if
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
 doesn't study well.
Overall
Linking Words
, I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Doing
homework
Use synonyms
 as a parent with
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them understand more about
topic
Correct article usage
the topic
show examples
 and strengthen relationships between them. It
Linking Words
also will
Correct word order
will also
show examples
 be beneficial for them because it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 visible
kids
Use synonyms
' progress and weak sides.

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task response
Answer the question in a more full way. Your view is clear, but some ideas are a bit general.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and real. Some examples now feel weak or not fully linked to homework.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one or two simple details to show how and why.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts connect well, but a few sentences feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. A few ideas go too far from the main point.
task response
You clearly agree with the statement from the start to the end.
task response
You give two main reasons for your answer, and both are linked to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Overall'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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