The bars illustrate percentages of the 14 to 16 year old students who study foreign languages in an English spoken country and the top 3 studied foreign languages in 1984 and 2007. The data is measured in percentages.

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Overall
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,
it is clear that
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girls were the majority of the foreign language
students
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in both 1984 and 2007.
Furthermore
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, French was the most studied language in both years. Looking at percentages of female
students
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, the number of female
students
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stood at 48 in 1984.
This
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figure fluctuated gradually to reach 40 by 2007.
Similarly
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, the number of male
students
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decreased from 30 to 25 over the same period. Turning to the top 3 languages studied by
students
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, French recorded 50 in 1984.
Although
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German dropped modestly, Spanish was the only
one subjects
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subject
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that grew double of the
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students
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number of students
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in 2007. In 2007, the number of French
students
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experienced a sudden decline, falling to 25. By the end of the
period
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period,
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only
Spanish
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the Spanish
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tendency had survived the lowering of language
students
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in 2007.

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task response
For task response, compare all main data in a more full way. Say what changed for girls, boys, French, German, and Spanish with clear numbers.
task response
For task response, avoid unclear ideas like 'survived the lowering'. Use simple and exact words to tell what went up and what went down.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body part follow one clear plan. First group student data, then language data, and compare both years in each part.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas with easy words like 'while', 'in contrast', 'by 2007', and 'overall'. This will make the line of thought easier to follow.
task response
You gave a clear overall view: girls had the higher share in both years, and French was first in both years.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic clear shape with an opening overview and two body parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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