IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some say that young and energetic employees are more valuable for the company, others argue that older employees have more experience and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples, based on your own experience.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that companies rely on
employees
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 with different strengths and backgrounds. Some people argue that young and energetic
workers
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 are more valuable,
while
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 others believe that older
employees
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 provide greater benefits
due to
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 their
experience
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 and knowledge.
Although
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 some may agree with one side, I partly support
both
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 views
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that young
employees
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 can bring energy, creativity, and adaptability to the workplace. To illustrate, younger
workers
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 are often more familiar with new technologies and innovative ideas, which can help companies remain competitive.
For instance
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, in fast-changing industries
such
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 as digital marketing or technology, young
employees
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 may quickly adapt to new tools and trends.
In addition
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, their enthusiasm and willingness to learn can increase productivity and support business growth. Another point that should not be overlooked is that older
employees
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 offer valuable
experience
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 and practical knowledge. To clarify, individuals who have worked for many years often possess strong decision-making skills and a deep understanding of their field.
For example
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, experienced
workers
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 can mentor younger staff and help solve complex problems more effectively. From personal observation, teams that combine
both
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 younger and older
employees
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 tend to perform better, as they benefit from
both
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 innovation and
experience
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. To recapitulate, it is evident that young
employees
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 contribute energy and innovation,
while
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 older
workers
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 provide
experience
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 and stability.
Therefore
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, I believe that
both
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 groups are equally valuable, and the most effective approach for companies is to maintain a balanced workforce that combines the strengths of different generations.

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task response
Say your view in a more clear way. You say you partly support both views, but the task asks how far you agree or disagree. Write a clear answer like 'I think both are valuable, but older workers are a little more important' or 'I believe both are equal.'
task response
Give one more specific example. Your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Add a real work case or a more exact example from your own life.
task response
Develop your main ideas a bit more. Some points are clear, but they can be explained with more detail to make your answer stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words are used in a fixed way. Try to use simple but more natural links.
coherence cohesion
The structure is good, but you can make the second body paragraph connect more clearly to your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main idea, which is good. To get a higher score, add a little more support after each example.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to understand.
task response
You use examples that fit the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a good order and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph stays on one main point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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