IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cities and towns all over the world, traffic jams are a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that
traffic
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congestion
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 has become a common problem in many cities and towns around the world.
This
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 issue affects daily life and economic productivity. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the causes of
traffic
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 jams and suggest possible solutions. One of the most apparent causes is the increasing number of private vehicles. To illustrate, as populations grow and incomes rise, more people can afford to own cars, which leads to overcrowded roads.
For instance
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, urban areas often experience heavy
traffic
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 during peak hours when large numbers of commuters travel to work.
In addition
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, inadequate public
transport
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 systems can force people to rely on private vehicles.
Furthermore
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, poor urban planning and limited road infrastructure can worsen
congestion
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, as roads are unable to accommodate the growing number of vehicles. The main solution that should not be overlooked is that governments should improve public transportation and implement effective
traffic
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 management strategies. To clarify, developing reliable and affordable
transport
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 systems
such
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 as buses, trains, and metro services can reduce dependence on private cars.
For example
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, dedicated bus lanes and well-connected transit networks can make public
transport
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 more attractive.
Furthermore
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, policies
such
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 as
congestion
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 charges, carpooling incentives, and better
traffic
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 control systems can help manage vehicle flow.
In addition
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, investing in infrastructure and promoting alternative modes of
transport
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,
such
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 as cycling, can
further
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 reduce
congestion
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. To recapitulate, it is evident that
traffic
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congestion
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 is mainly caused by the rise in private vehicle use and inadequate infrastructure,
while
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 effective solutions include improving public
transport
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 and implementing better
traffic
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 policies.
Therefore
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, a comprehensive approach is necessary to reduce
traffic
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 problems and improve urban living conditions.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear cause and one more action with a real and clear example.
task response
For task response, explain your examples a bit more so the reader can see how the action solves the problem.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some link words are used too often, like 'furthermore' and 'in addition'. Try to vary them.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make one idea lead more smoothly to the next by using shorter and more direct topic sentences.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly: causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Main ideas are easy to follow and stay on topic.
task response
You give examples to support your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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