IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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Nowadays, many aspects need to be considered before selecting personal living arrangements.
While
Linking Words
 some people prefer to live in apartments as
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they are
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 cost-effective and come with various facilities, others believe that purchasing
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 offers greater benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as large
room
Check wording
rooms
show examples
 and private appliances.
However
Linking Words
, it is argued that financial
circumtance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
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 become
major
Correct article usage
a major
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 consideration before choosing whether
living
Wrong verb form
to live
show examples
 in a house or
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
. An attempt will be made to examine these views thoroughly before concluding my personal opinion. On the one hand, there are many benefits associated with living in
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
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.
Check wording
area.
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 One of the most significant positive aspects is that it provides
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 space and privacy, which can improve the quality of life. To illustrate, housing zone is typically provide larger living
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
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,
kitchen
Check wording
kitchens
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, and personal home appliances,
therefore
Linking Words
 family can enjoy cooking,
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
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, and
can
Correct pronoun usage
it can
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 be useful for families and children to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 their personal activities.
However
Linking Words
, the price of housing zones today is growing, burdening some groups of society to access
this
Linking Words
 kind of property.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
 can be more
cost friendly
Correct your spelling
cost-friendly
, particularly for those who have financial issues,
such
Linking Words
 as young adults who come from
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 economic group. Flats are
also
Linking Words
 easier to maintain as
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 provide compact and functional
room
Check wording
rooms
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, and come with useful shared facilities,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 security and service cleaning.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the sense of community can be more valued
Linking Words
due to
Correct word choice
because
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 people live in closer contact with their neighbourhood. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
 there is concern related to the price of personal living property, it is evident that selecting
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 as
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
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 living
based
Replace the word
base
 is more beneficial compared to
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
, particularly for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who value comfort and privacy.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. You say a house is better, but you do not clearly compare all main good and bad points of both choices.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. Your ideas are general, so stronger examples will make your answer more complete.
task response
Explain disadvantages of a house more fully, not only price. This will help you show a balanced view before your final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your main idea faster.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences are hard to follow because grammar mistakes break the flow. Keep sentence forms simpler and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point with one clear reason and one result. This will make your paragraphs feel more complete and connected.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a good basic shape.
task response
You discuss both houses and apartments, so you address the topic and show both sides.
task response
Your final opinion is clear: you think living in a house is more beneficial for comfort and privacy.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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