IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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In the modern world, individuals have their own perspectives
whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
show examples
 living in a
house
Use synonyms
 or
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 many people prefer to live in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments
may
Correct pronoun usage
, which may
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 reduce the
cost
Use synonyms
 of living, others believe that purchasing
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 offers greater benefits. Despite some concerns regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cost
Use synonyms
 and maintenance, I believe that staying in residence is more
significance
Replace the word
significant
. On the one hand, there are some benefits associated with living in residential areas. One of the most positive aspects is that it provides more room and privacy. To illustrate, housing typically provides
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 living room, private gardens, and personal appliances, which can enhance comfort
while
Linking Words
 doing activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, families living in a housing zone can enjoy outdoor activities and feel free to interact without disturbing their surroundings.
In addition
Linking Words
, homeowner may designate their desired room layout and facade, enabling them to customise their own living environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some drawbacks
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 the
cost
Use synonyms
 and maintenance responsibilities of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
house
Punctuation problem
house,
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 should not be overlooked. To clarify, housing area generally more expensive to purchase compared to
flat
Check wording
flats
show examples
, and keeping
appliance
Check wording
appliances
show examples
 in good condition should be
scheduling
Wrong verb form
scheduled
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 every year in order to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
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 there are no broken parts, without getting shared or collective support.
For example
Linking Words
, owners should allocate their own budget for repairs, redesign, and
renew
Replace the word
renewal of
 home facilities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, residential zones are usually placed
further
Linking Words
 from
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 centre, which can increase household
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 for commuting, and may reduce access to public facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as education and
heatlhcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
 it is evident that some constraints related to living in a
house
Use synonyms
, including the price and accessibility, its advantages of having privacy and
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 space are far more beneficial, particularly for individuals who value comfort and independence.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why a house has more good points than bad points.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples. Your ideas are good, but some examples are too general.
task response
Explain your main points a little more. For example, show how space and privacy improve daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is not smooth. Use simple links like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. This will make your argument easier to follow.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas about space, privacy, cost, and travel are relevant to the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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