Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common for children worldwide to spend several hours a day on smartphones.

While

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there are various factors contributing to

this

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trend, I believe it is a largely negative development. On the one hand, the reasons for

this

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high level of screen time are numerous. One primary factor is the diminishing influence of parents. Many parents today maintain rigorous work schedules and lack the time to engage with their children.

Consequently

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, they may provide smartphones as a distraction or a "digital babysitter," which fosters a dependency on technology.

Furthermore

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, there has been a significant decline in physical activity. Many children now find virtual games more stimulating than traditional outdoor play, leading them to

prioritize

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prioritise

show examples

screen time over physical movement.

On the other hand

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this

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trend carries significant disadvantages.

Firstly

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, excessive smartphone use can lead to technology addiction, which is often linked to mental health issues

such

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as anxiety and depression.

This

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can severely hinder a child’s cognitive and emotional development.

Secondly

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, there are physical health risks to consider. Constant exposure to screens can result in sedentary lifestyles,

as well as

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specific ailments like digital eye strain and chronic headaches. In conclusion,

while

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the decline in parental supervision and the shift away from physical games have fueled smartphone usage, I believe the consequences are overwhelmingly negative.

This

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habit is potentially deleterious to a child’s well-being, affecting both their mental health and physical development.

jonjonasr

Apr 29, 2026

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task response

For task response, you answer both parts of the question, but you can add one more clear reason why children use phones so much.

task response

For task response, your ideas are clear, but they can be more full with one short real example in each body paragraph.

task response

For task response, your points are good, but some ideas are a bit general. Add simple and clear details.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and has a clear 4-part structure.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, linking words are used well, but do not use too many similar ones. Keep them natural.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, each main point is explained, but support can be a little stronger with one direct example.

task response

You clearly say your opinion in the introduction and keep it the same to the end.

task response

You answer both questions in the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all clear and in the right place.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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