IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, Should be required to work in the country where they training. Other believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish

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In recent
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 many
abroad
Correct word order
professionals from abroad,
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
 like doctors and
engineers
Punctuation problem
engineers,
show examples
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad. It is argued that they should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where
received
Correct pronoun usage
they received
show examples
 their training, or they can have
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 to choose in which
country
Use synonyms
 they want to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. I believe that the
professionals
Use synonyms
 working abroad should have more
opportunities
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
to
show examples
 choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in any
country
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can have some positive and negative effects.
The first
Correct determiner usage
First of
show examples
 all,
professionals
Use synonyms
 who choose to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new lifestyle and career
opportunities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should have their own
choice
Check wording
apply
show examples
chance to improve their
life’s
Check wording
lives
show examples
 and careers out there counties drawback.
For example
Linking Words
, countries
such
Linking Words
 as Egypt
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 large numbers of
professionals
Use synonyms
 in medical and engineering, which can affect job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in multiple
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 and make it difficult
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in other
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
 have less doctors and engineers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that could lead to more
jobs
Check wording
job
show examples
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and increases in paychecks.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the
economically
Replace the word
economy
 and
socially
Replace the word
society
, if the professional
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a decision to leave the
country
Use synonyms
 where he received
he’s
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 training.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 countries with free healthcare and free education can be effective badly, many people that the population should make up to the
country
Use synonyms
 with their skills and knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
, South Africa
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world to get skills and training to improve their doctors and engineers. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 working in their home
country
Use synonyms
 can benefit from their skills and abilities, I believe
professionals
Use synonyms
 should be free to choose where they
work
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Now you say your view, but the other side is not fully explained.
task response
Give one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it more.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your examples are linked to the topic, but they are not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer so the reader can follow your plan easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links are not natural or correct.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples from real countries like Egypt and South Africa.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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