IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages?

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There are parents who
tach
Correct your spelling
teach
 their children from
home
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, they think it's beneficial, even if they didn'
t
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 go to school. I think teachers have their own methods, and they are useful to teenagers. The whole journey is important, meeting new friends, and adapting to
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 environment. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic in detail, and I will provide the pros and cons. First and foremost, schools are vital. It assists students
to learn
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in learning
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 and
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
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. Studying from
home
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 can'
t
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 be challenging, because there are no skilled
person
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people
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. It should be done by scholars who
studied
Verb problem
have studied
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,
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apply
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 and have enormous knowledge. Parents
don'
Verb problem
aren't
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t
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suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
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 to know every subject. Sometimes they get
wrong
Correct pronoun usage
it wrong
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, and that will affect their
children
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children's
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 progress.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the number of people who teach their children has increased, and I think
it's
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its
show examples
 benefits are limited. Parents have a lot of
thing
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things
show examples
 to do. They are busy sometimes, and don'
t
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 have a consistent schedule
,
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;
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however
Linking Words
, they could do great if they work with the teacher
not
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, not
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 independently. From my perspective, I suggest
individuals
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that individuals
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to
Wrong verb form
apply
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teach English at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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home
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, and let teachers teach other subjects, because English needs consistency and discipline; it could be done by someone who understands it. Researchs have shown that learning
form
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from
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 an enjoyable environment can lead to immense successes. In conclusion, the cons of studying from
home
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 outweigh the pros from my experience and nationwide. In the end. It depends on the country and the facilities, some poor
country
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countries
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 can'
t
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 afford building to study
on
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in
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, and other
equipments
Check wording
equipment
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.

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task response
Make your main answer very clear in the first part. Say clearly that the bad points are more than the good points.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. Some ideas are good, but they are too short.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body part so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Words like 'for example', 'because', 'also', and 'however' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts feel sudden or unclear.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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