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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 and bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrate
recently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
details
consist
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the location and types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 young people in Australia joined at present.
Overall
Linking Words
, two types of charts were
presenting
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
show examples
 a pie
chart
Use synonyms
 about
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 and a bar
chart
Use synonyms
 of several types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 were distinguished by age range below. Nowadays,
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 separated equally in different places that were achiveable by citizen. As can be seen from the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, 48
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
dance
Use synonyms
 teachers used private studios for teaching. Meanwhile, 24
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 were in school halls,
this
Linking Words
 been
easily
Replace the word
easy
 for student to school to cope with. The
rest
Correct word choice
remaining
show examples
 two amounts were 18
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for community halls & other and college-based studios
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Down there was type of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 by age group in a form of
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
. The highest number was 600 as kids under eleven in ballet
Use synonyms
class
Punctuation problem
class,
show examples
 followed by 11 to
16 yearsold
Correct your spelling
16-year-olds
 in modern
class
Use synonyms
were
Correct pronoun usage
, who were
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 500 students. There
two
Verb problem
were two
show examples
 significant charts that were totally at the same quantity at three
hundreds
Replace the word
hundred
, were children from 11 to 16 in ballet
class
Use synonyms
 and a modern
class
Use synonyms
 available for kids under 11.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, dance, classes, percent, class with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 8 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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