Completing universit education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
group
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of
people
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think that
university
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graduation plays a crucial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
starting a good
carier
Correct your spelling
career
,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct determiner usage
another
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group
Use synonyms
of individuals prefer experiencing and improving soft
skills
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to find a good occupation. I personally totally support the idea of the former
group
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and
illustarte
Correct your spelling
illustrate
reasons in
this
Linking Words
essay. Starting with acquiring
experience
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and developing soft
skills
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,
people
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who take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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advantage of
this
Linking Words
opine
Use the right word
opinion
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that
university
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schooling is not essential for finding one's own way and job in a certain society. To illustrate,
such
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sort of individuals could not get higher
education
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and started
experiencing
Verb problem
working in
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other fields to earn money. Notwithstanding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
being
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successful in their sphere and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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adequate income, these
people
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cannot get into the greater positions
due to
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their
insufficiant
Correct your spelling
insufficient
university
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education
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. Take an example of SMM and
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
of SMM workers, which are becoming popular these days. Employers usually tend to hire more professional and educated ones who
graduated
Verb problem
have graduated
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
from university
show examples
to get better results. Moving to the
group
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of
people
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who have
undergraduate
Correct article usage
an undergraduate
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diploma, they can get a good position all the time because of their
profissionalism
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professionalism
.
In addition
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, having
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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does not mean that those individuals have bad
experience
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and soft
skills
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, it is
vica
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vice
versa.
In other words
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,
while
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studying at
university
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, students can interact with each other and can share knowledge or gain.
Moreover
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, by meeting experienced professionals
of
Change preposition
in
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their
field
Punctuation problem
field,
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not only can students learn new things and how to become successful, but
also
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they can improve their soft
skills
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. To recapitulate,
while
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there are
people
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who think
experience
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and soft
skills
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are enough for good job opportunities, I opine that
university
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education
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has a great impact on one's future
carier
Correct your spelling
career
, as
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
can
also
Linking Words
teach how to develop soft
skills
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and get
experience
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.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You write more for university, but the other side needs more full ideas too.
task response
Give one clear opinion in the introduction and keep it strong in the body parts.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. The SMM example is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter, because a few parts are hard to follow.
task response
You answer both views and you give your own opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Most ideas stay on the topic of jobs, education, and skills.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • degree
  • qualification
  • job
  • work
  • career
  • learning
  • knowledge
  • theory
  • practice
  • skill
  • soft skill
  • hard skill
  • experience
  • pay
  • salary
  • market
  • demand
  • employer
  • internship
  • intern
  • apprentice
  • balance
  • combine
  • path
  • bridge
  • opportunity
  • decision
  • view
  • on the one hand
  • on the other hand
  • in my view
  • in my opinion
  • overall
  • therefore
  • however
  • for example
  • for instance
  • thus
  • team
  • communication
  • problem
  • solve
  • plan
  • goal
  • network
  • contact
  • design
  • study
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