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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries percentage share of Brazil's economy in 2009 and 2019 with ah forecast for 2029. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The given bar chart presents the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Brazil’s economy shared among five different industries in 2009, 2019,
along with
Linking Words
 a forecast for 2029.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of finance figures showed an upward
trend
Use synonyms
, that of manufacturing and tourism showed a downward one.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that of food processing and oil, coal and gas fluctuated.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can be observed that the finance industry grew
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the given years from only 30% in 2009 to about 36% in 2019. It is
also
Linking Words
 estimated to keep growing and reach slightly more than 40% in 2029.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the segment of manufacturing revealed a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 from about 20% in 2009 to 16% approximately in the following decade. The proportion of the economy held by
this
Linking Words
 section is expected to reduce to only 5% in 2029. Tourism follows a similar
trend
Use synonyms
 — the
percentage
Use synonyms
 started from as high as about 25% in 2009 before dropping to just slightly over 20% in the next ten years. The
trend
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 is forecast to remain stable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 another ten years.
While
Linking Words
 the first two industries mentioned held clear trends of market share, the other two: Food processing and Oil, coal and gas saw fluctuating ones. The food processing industry rose from 10% in 2009 to just over 20% in 2019.
However
Linking Words
, it is projected to fall back down to 10% in 2029.
As well as
Linking Words
 the oil, coal and gas business, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 rose from 25% in 2009 to 30% in 2019, with a prediction to drop back to where it started in one decade.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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