Some people believe that women should be threated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that inequality on the basis of gender should not persist

while

Linking Words

hiring

women

Use synonyms

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

or the military.

However

Linking Words

, some people believe that these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

are not fit for

women

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both the views using arguments and examples for each.

Firstly

Linking Words

, nowadays,

women

Use synonyms

are excelling in different

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

throughout the world.

Government

Fix the agreement mistake

Governments

show examples

in different countries have policies and laws that

requires

Correct subject-verb agreement

require

show examples

a certain percentage of female workforce in a company.

Furthermore

Linking Words

The

Fix capitalization

the

show examples

feminist movements are gaining popularity for their advocacy of equal rights without

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender biases .

Additionally

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are becoming more

progessive

Correct your spelling

progressive

in their career

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

and are succeeding in

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

dominated fields.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is not wrong to say that there should be fair opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

and the

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

forces.

For Instance

Linking Words

, the

women

Use synonyms

in the arborists companies (male dominated field) do

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

amount of work as their male

coworker

Fix the agreement mistake

coworkers

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

receive pay similar to the men.

Secondly

Linking Words

, some people still argue that

women

Use synonyms

are less suitable for

these

Fix the agreement mistake

this

show examples

kind of job.

This

Linking Words

may be because of the rooted generational patriarchy in their mind.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they believe that men have a biological advantage over

women

Use synonyms

. These

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

usually require higher levels of physical

strenth

Correct your spelling

strength

, stamina and mental

perseverence

Correct your spelling

perseverance

As a result

Linking Words

, a portion of

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

might argue that

women

Use synonyms

might not

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

be able to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with the

challeges

Correct your spelling

challenges

and struggles of these

jobs

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a person working in

police

Correct article usage

the police

show examples

force or the military

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

subjected to months of rigorous training and development programs before being assigned to their

jobs

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

highly

Correct article usage

a highly

show examples

controversial topic, I believe that equal

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

opportunities in law enforcement and

defense departements

Correct your spelling

defence departments

should be provided regardless of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender.

navkirank686

May 2, 2026

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task response

Write your main view more clearly in the second paragraph and keep it strong to the end.

task response

Give more direct support for each main point. Some ideas are good but need more detail.

task response

Use examples that are closer to police or army work, not only other jobs.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences clearer so each paragraph has one main idea.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences jump too fast.

coherence and cohesion

Check pronouns and word forms so the meaning stays clear.

task response

You discuss both sides and give your own view in the end.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most ideas stay on the topic.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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