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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table illustrates the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Canada, Germany and the UK in 1988, 2000 and an estimation of 2030.

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The following table represents the percentage of Canadian, German, and British elders who were at the age of 65 and over in 1988, 2000, and 2030.
Overall
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, every single nation saw a gradual
,
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 but stable rise throughout the given periods.
To begin
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 with, in 1988, seniors in Canada accounted for only 16%. The proportion increased by 5%, reaching 21% in 2000 before climbing up by another 5% in the following 3 decades. As for Germany, the percentage of the elderly in
Germany in
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1988 accounted for 20%. Twelve years later, the figure rose by 5%, reaching 25% before increasing by 5% more in the next 30 years.
Finally
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, the proportion of elders in the UK in 1988 was at 14%. Even though the percentage increased
only
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 as little as 1% from 1988 to 2000, a growth of 5%, from 15% to 20%, was experienced in 2030.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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