Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

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In the recent era, it is true that
people
Use synonyms
are more
depend
Replace the word
dependent
on
fly
Replace the word
flying
to reach their destination.
While
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Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
believe that
to decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
the time of flying
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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essential for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
disadvantage
Use synonyms
outweigh the
advantage
Check wording
advantages
show examples
. Dropping
fly
Replace the word
flight
time for
people
Use synonyms
or stopping fly have numerous benefits for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. First and foremost, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere
Linking Words
due
Verb problem
is due
show examples
to frequent use of
air
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because aircraft consume a significant amount of fuel rather than other
vehicls
Correct your spelling
vehicles
. By consuming
over
Correct determiner usage
too much
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fuel,
world
Correct article usage
the world
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can suffer
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of natural resources.
For example
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, particularly in the USA
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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highly use aircraft, which leads to the USA government
export
Wrong verb form
exporting
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600 million dollar's fuel
in
Change preposition
apply
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every year.
without
Fix capitalization
Without
show examples
excessive use of
Use synonyms
air craft
Correct your spelling
aircraft
,
people
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cannot suffer environment pollution
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as
air
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pollution.
Moreover
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,
air
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pollution are causes of
cetalogical diseas
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular diseases
such
Linking Words
as cancer.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a number of
Use synonyms
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of reducing
fly
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flies
show examples
. One possible
disadvantage
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is that
people
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suffer lack of global communication. Without using fly service, individuals cannot reach their destination
at a
Change preposition
on
show examples
time.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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is mainly because
Use synonyms
air craft
Correct your spelling
aircraft
is a faster communication method than other
service
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services
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
decision reduce world's
people
Use synonyms
bonding. Another feasible
disadvantage
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is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it impact on
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
economy
due to
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less employment.
Moreover
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, unless workers migrate others country for
job
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jobs
show examples
, many countries suffer
leaks
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a loss
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of workers.
As a result
Linking Words
, global
ecomoney
Correct your spelling
economy
will be decreasing day by day. In conclusion,
All
Fix capitalization
all
show examples
the factors
mentions
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
above,
although
Linking Words
there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of reducing fly service,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
disadvantage
Use synonyms
outweigh the
advantage
Check wording
advantages
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly in each body paragraph. Show why the bad points are stronger than the good points.
task response
Use ideas that are more clear and more fully explained. Some points are hard to understand now.
task response
Give examples that are real and easy to believe. The example about fuel export is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Some sentences do not connect well with the next sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear reason and one clear example.
task response
You answered both sides and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic linking words like first, moreover, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
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