Some people believe that traditional classroom learning is the most effective way to gain knowledge, while others argue that online education is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The debate surrounding success in life
emphasizes
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emphasises
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two distinct perspectives
:
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:
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some people advocate for hard work and determination,
while
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others contend that money and personal connections are more beneficial. In my opinion, the foremost priority should be to
recognize
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recognise
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that sustained personal effort ultimately lays a more reliable foundation for long-term achievement. Proponents of hard work and determination highlight the substantial advantages of self-discipline and resilience accrued through sustained engagement with challenging tasks. Remaining committed to personal effort enables
individuals
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to immerse themselves in the process of mastery and gain an in-depth understanding of their chosen field through consistent practice. A compelling example of
this
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can be observed in athletes or entrepreneurs who, after dedicating considerable time to relentless training and problem-solving, attain strong professional reputations and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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.
This
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commitment not only fosters a sense of genuine accomplishment but
also
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cultivates an environment conducive to continuous self-improvement.
Conversely
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, advocates for financial resources and social networks argue that leveraging external advantages can accelerate career progression and diversification of opportunities. Having access to wealth and connections allows
individuals
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to experience varied professional circles, thereby enhancing their negotiation and strategic positioning capabilities.
For instance
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, a graduate who receives funding from wealthy relatives or secures an internship through family ties may encounter mentors and exclusive projects.
This
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exposure can lead to a broader professional network and, ultimately, greater career contentment, as
individuals
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are more likely to access positions that resonate with their ambitions.
Moreover
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, the dynamic nature of today's job market often necessitates
such
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initial advantages to remain competitive. In conclusion,
while
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both personal determination and external resources possess their respective merits, I firmly assert that
prioritizing
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prioritising
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hard work and self-reliance is paramount when pursuing success.
Individuals
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should strive to find a balance that aligns with their values and ambitions, thereby ensuring a rewarding and sustainable life achievement.
However
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, without consistent effort, even the best connections and wealth are unlikely to produce genuine, long-term success.

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task response
Write about the same topic in all parts of the essay.
task response
Answer both views clearly and give your own opinion on the given topic.
task response
Use examples that fit the question exactly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and this is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully so each idea connects in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main point directly supports the topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are grouped into separate paragraphs well.
task response
You use some examples to support your ideas.
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