IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books all the times, and they think is a waste of time to read any entertainment books. What is your opinion about this?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
parents
Fix capitalization
Parents
show examples
 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 their children to only read educational books may
thinks
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 the only way to increase their learning facts , skills , and
extravigant studing
Correct your spelling
extravagant studying
 habits.
however
Linking Words
 on the other side
entertainment
Punctuation problem
, entertainment
show examples
 books may
devalop
Correct your spelling
develop
 more vocabulary words and open their
imagnation widly
Correct your spelling
imagination widely
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 where
entrepreneur
Replace the word
entrepreneurship
 starts ,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 the reason why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with the
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 point of view.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write one clear first line with your main view, then add one more line to explain it.
task response
Give one simple example about how fun books help a child learn new words or think in new ways.
task response
Use full sentences and check each idea is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Start new ideas with clear words like First, Also, However, and In short.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending sentence to repeat your view.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, and but.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear view: you do not agree with the parents.
task response
You give two reasons: fun books can build word power and open the mind.
coherence and cohesion
You use however to show the other side.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas follow a basic order: parents view first, then your view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • serious books
  • educational books
  • entertainment books
  • a waste of time
  • build a reading habit
  • love of reading
  • gain knowledge
  • broaden the mind
  • spark imagination
  • feel bored
  • study pressure
  • read for pleasure
  • language skills
  • understand others
  • keep a balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: