IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement. Gives reasons for your answer and include any relavent examples from you own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In the modern world,
Use synonyms
prison
Correct subject-verb agreement
prisons
show examples
 are used to perform punishments for those
people
Use synonyms
 who
violated
Wrong verb form
violate
show examples
 the law. Many believe
prison
Use synonyms
 to be the most effective
punishment
Use synonyms
 for violators.I partially agree with the statement because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
schedule
Use synonyms
 is strict and structured there.
However
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 be harmful as it isolates
people
Use synonyms
. It is generally claimed that
criminals
Use synonyms
, who live in prisons
while
Linking Words
 their
punishment
Use synonyms
 throughout their
punishment
Use synonyms
, have a specific
schedule
Use synonyms
 they must follow. It keeps individuals doing a variety of activities that are allowed in a
prison
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
criminals
Use synonyms
 may work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it teaches them to be disciplined and learn some new skills. At the same time, strict rules keep
people
Use synonyms
 away from negative actions
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as selling illegal
drugs
Punctuation problem
drugs,
show examples
 that could happen in prisons.
Linking Words
Likewise
Add a comma
Likewise,
show examples
 a structured
schedule
Use synonyms
 affects positively on a human’s body,
for instance
Linking Words
, sleeping and waking up at the same time daily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, humans are being isolated in a
prison
Use synonyms
, which might be a negative factor, because some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
 get punished multiple times and they keep violating the law eventually. Being surrounded by these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 may destroy the key principle of
punishment
Use synonyms
 - awareness of wrongdoing. Meanwhile,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of communication with relatives
due to
Linking Words
 isolation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 may provoke depression and anxiety among prisoners. In conclusion, it is evident that
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
show examples
schedule
Use synonyms
 in a
prison
Use synonyms
 is generally effective and teaches
criminals
Use synonyms
 discipline. Which not only helps
people
Use synonyms
 to stay away from wrongdoing but
also
Linking Words
 improves
human’s
Check wording
humans’
show examples
 biorhythm.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, prisons
keeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
keep
show examples
 violators isolated, which may cause harmful connections between prisoners and effect on mental health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear. Say early if you mostly agree or mostly disagree, and keep this same line in all parts.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples. Your ideas are good, but some points need a more real and direct example.
task response
Explain why prison is better or worse than other punishments. This will make your answer more full.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but a few lines feel a bit sudden or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will help your essay feel more clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and small grammar breaks, because they sometimes make the meaning less clear.
task response
You answer the question and give both sides before your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Most ideas are linked to the topic of prison and punishment.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing well, and this helps the reader follow your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: