IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Throughout history, male leaders have led us into violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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There is no
dyning
Correct your spelling
denying
 the fact
the
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 female leadera better than male leaders .
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly
hold
Wrong verb form
held
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 belief that female
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 better than male .
I
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion , in my opinion i consider that
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 lead
better
Verb problem
is better
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 than
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
 lead.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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 in big companies we see that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 get
succsess
Correct your spelling
success
 more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
 , for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 better emotional
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
.
Such
Linking Words
 as kbmg and pwx companies leaders.

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task response
Write a full answer to the question. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same idea in all parts.
task response
Add more main ideas. Now your essay is very short, so the reader cannot see enough support for your opinion.
task response
Use one clear example and explain it. Do not only name companies. Show how the example proves your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easy to follow. Use a simple plan: introduction, 2 body parts, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Connect ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part should have one main idea, and the next lines should support that idea.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use an example to support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender dynamics
  • militaristic policies
  • expansionist
  • diplomatic governance
  • risk-taking
  • societal norms
  • inclusive approach
  • collaborative governance
  • gender stereotypes
  • individual qualities
  • comprehensive approach
  • conflict resolution
  • aggression
  • historical context
  • colonial expansion
  • contemporary
  • male dominance
  • innate differences
  • peaceful governance
  • competitive strategies
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