The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph presents the information on the crime rate in New Port city centre in the
period
Use synonyms
of 9 years from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
burglary
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had drastically decreased during the
Use synonyms
period
Punctuation problem
period,
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while
Linking Words
robbery and
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
remained approximately at the same level. In
2003
Punctuation problem
2003,
show examples
the highest number of crime
incidents
Use synonyms
could be observed in
burglary
Use synonyms
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
about 3400
incidents
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
in
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
and robbery combined
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
3300 times compared to
burglary
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alone. For the upcoming
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
all of these crimes experienced a slight increase in the
Use synonyms
incidents
Check wording
number of incidents
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. The highest of them all
being
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
burglary
Use synonyms
seeing
Punctuation problem
, seeing
show examples
400 more
incidents
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
only increased by 50. From 2004 to 2008
burglary
Use synonyms
experienced a massive decrease
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
about 1200
incidents
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
3 times
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
incidents
Use synonyms
compared to 2004. During the same
period
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Punctuation problem
, car
show examples
theft
Use synonyms
and robbery had a slight decrease in their numbers. For the subsequent
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
all the crimes were fluctuating with no drastic changes.
At the end
Linking Words
of the
period
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Punctuation problem
, car
show examples
theft
Use synonyms
finished at the

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, burglary, car, theft, incidents with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instances of crime
  • significant decline
  • noticeable change
  • fluctuating trend
  • relatively stable
  • minor fluctuations
  • dramatic reduction
  • converged towards
  • crime rate
  • time frame
  • notable trajectory
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