IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer studying at home, while others prefer studying at school. Discuss both views.

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There is no denying the fact that learning at apartment can be improved by students.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that learning at
house
Check wording
home
show examples
 has plenty of advantages, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that being in
school
Use synonyms
 is more effective than online learning.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, one of the advantages of studying at home is that you can study when you want to learn, which may make the topic less difficult because you get enough energy and motivation.
In other words
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, they will have their own return
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes the lifestyle more flexible.
In addition
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,most of the students are struggling financially,
therefore
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 it is quite hard to afford the
cast
Use the right word
cost
show examples
 of transportation.
For example
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, take an
abroad
Correct word choice
international
show examples
 student learning from
house
Use the right word
home
show examples
instead
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 of spending money on
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 or taxi, now he has the opportunity to join a gym and work out so he can invest in his health.
On the other hand
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, being in
school
Use synonyms
 is a great thing because you will meet new students over the years, which can make the education more enjoyable and interesting. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that the easiest way to improve
communicationskill
Correct your spelling
communication skills
 is going to
school
Use synonyms
 and making friends.
Moreover
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, sometimes we do not have the motivation to go to
school
Use synonyms
, but when we remember
Correct word choice
that
show examples
we will meet our friends, it makes us happy. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that going to
school
Use synonyms
 is the greatest thing that will happen in your life because you will learn a lot not just about education, but
also
Linking Words
 in your life, you may be more smart with dealing with problems or helping your classmate.

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coherence cohesion
Write your ideas in a more clear way. Some lines are hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use link words in a better way, like 'first', 'also', and 'however'.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a fuller reason or a simple example.
task achievement
Answer both sides of the topic more fully before your opinion.
task achievement
Make your opinion more clear and keep it the same through the essay.
task achievement
Use examples that match the main idea more closely.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has two main body parts, so the structure is easy to see.
task achievement
You discuss both views and give your opinion at the end.
task achievement
You give at least one example to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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