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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph illustrates the transportation of goods in the UK from 1974 to 2002

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The data presents the four different modes of transport for products in the UK between 1974 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there is an upward trend in the amount of goods transported by road, water and pipeline,
while
Linking Words
 rail saw some fluctuation throughout the timeframe.
While
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 road was the leading category, pipeline consistently recorded the lowest figures. In terms of the modes of transport with
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
show examples
 amount of products, road
started
Check wording
transport started
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 at about 70
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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 in 1974. Despite a slight decline in 1982, the figures climbed substantially to just under 100
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 by 2002, remaining the dominant mode of transport in the end.
In contrast
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, water started at nearly 40
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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 and rose sharply to almost 60
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 by 1982.
Subsequently
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, it remained stable over the next 12 years.
Following
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this
Linking Words
, water peaked at approximately 65
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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 by 2002, after witnessing a slight drop.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
pipeline
Correct article usage
the pipeline
show examples
 began at roughly 5
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and experienced a considerable growth, reaching a peak of roughly 25
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
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 in 1982 and
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off at
this
Linking Words
 level until 1992.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the figures decreased slightly and
stabilized
Change the spelling
stabilised
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 at 20
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 over the next 8-year period.
By contrast
Linking Words
, rail started at 40
million
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tonnes
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 in 1974 and showed significant volatility throughout the period, finishing at just over 40
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 by 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "subsequently, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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