IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve environmental problems is to increase fuel prices. To what extent do you agree?

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Some people believe that
fuel
Use synonyms
rates
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prices
show examples
 should be increased to tackle environmental problems.
However
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,
this
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 essay examines that
although
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 it will reduce some level of pollution, it will majorly put a financial dent in the pockets of people. To be able to resolve it, governments should focus on other significant factors
such
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 as deforestation, pollution or industrial waste.
To begin
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 with,
fuel
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 consumption has no replacement in today's world, which means that it is a necessity for individuals to drive vehicles that run on gas because they don't have any other means of transport to commute. So, the authorities increasing the price of
fuel
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 would put people in financial trouble.
For example
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, in Delhi, the capital of India, the regional government tried to raise taxes on vehicles driven by petrol or
diesal
Correct your spelling
diesel
,
as a result
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, residents faced extreme hardships in travelling, and the state had to withdraw their laws after the failure of its experiment. So, there are more disadvantages than advantages in putting an increase in
fuel
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 rates. Even though it is evident that gas machinaries are polluting the planet, there are more significant practices that lead to polluting the environment, which should be controlled by the nations before putting a price hike on fuels.
For instance
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, in India, Panjab University
,
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apply
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 has conducted a survey which states that deforestation is indirectly resulting in more than 30
percent
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per cent
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 of air pollution, industrial waste from major textile industries or other factories, is polluting water and killing aquatic life. So, putting a halt
in
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to
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fuel
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 consumption will not resolve the environmental issues efficiently. In conclusion, the nations trying to change the gas prices will need to shift their perspective to other major factors, and consider the cons that come with increasing the rates of
fuel
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.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two more direct ideas about why higher fuel prices may help the environment.
task response
Use examples that are simple and clearly linked to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more clear order. One main idea in each body part is best.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long. Break them into two short sentences.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both fuel prices and other causes of pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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