IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital status of adult Americans in two of the years. Sunmarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Two car charts compare the percentage of both marriage and divorce rates in the USA from 1970 to 2000.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
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 the proportion of
Americans
Check wording
Americans'
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 marital status between 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of marriages declined slightly over the period,
while
Linking Words
 divorces fluctuated.
In addition
Linking Words
, married
people
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest percentages in both years. The majority of married
people
Use synonyms
 was the highest at about 2.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 1970
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it gradually declined to around 2
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of divorces increased approximately from 1
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 1970 to reach a peak
about
Change preposition
of about
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 1.4
millions
Use synonyms
 in1980 and
fall down
Wrong verb form
fell
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 steadily
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 1
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2000. In terms of marital status, married
people
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest proportion in both years.
Although
Linking Words
 the figures decreased 70% in 1970 to around 59% in 2000. Meanwhile, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who had never married increased
around
Change preposition
from around
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 13% to 20%.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 there was a similar trend
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the proportion of divorced
people
Use synonyms
 rose
about
Change preposition
from about
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 1% to 9%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of widowed
people
Use synonyms
 illustrates a slight decline.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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