IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.

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The chart illustrates the water levels of 6 towns in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Canberra and Sydney represented
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 categories,
while
Linking Words
 Darwin and Melbourne accounted for the lowest figures.
Initially
Linking Words
, in October 2009, Darwin made up only 43%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, Sydney was considerably higher with almost double
digiting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the latter's category (79%). Melbourne,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, made up just above 20%, respectively(22%). Perth constituted 40%, yet Brisbane was relatively higher in 2009, October (58%). In that same year, Canberra demonstrated about 78%. After
one year
Correct determiner usage
a one-year
show examples
 period, in 2010 Darwin and Melbourne were almost identical, with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 indicating 24% and the second constituting 40%.
However
Linking Words
, Sydney increased
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
 to 2%, representing 80%. Despite demonstrating the second lowest figure in 2009, Perth witnessed a drastic incline,
making
Verb problem
reaching
show examples
 up to 70% from
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
show examples
 40%.
While
Linking Words
 Canberra experienced a noticeable escalation from 78% to 98%, Brisbane remained with exactly
similar
Correct word choice
the same
show examples
 proportion as the previous year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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