IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think news has no connection to the people lives. So it is a waste of time to read the news in newspaper and watch television news program. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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The question of whether some citizens should read
news
Use synonyms
 in
newspaper
Check wording
newspapers
show examples
 and digital media has been a topic of debate.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
 some critics argue that the recent
news
Use synonyms
 has no connection to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
, I firmly believe that all
news
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 an important role in a global market.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many today are
incresingly
Correct your spelling
increasingly
 of the opinion that the present
news
Use synonyms
 sometimes
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to hot issues and trends regardless of the real facts. Specifically, the anchors tend to announce more
provocative for gaining
Replace the word
provocatively to gain
 popular views. 
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 has no effect
actual
Change preposition
on actual
show examples
 citizens'
lives
Use synonyms
 relatively, so that
people
Use synonyms
 would get some
fatigues
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fatigue
show examples
 in television
news
Use synonyms
 programs.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
news
Use synonyms
aren't
Correct subject-verb agreement
isn't
show examples
 essential to their real
lives
Use synonyms
. 
However
Linking Words
, despite these concerns, I argue that the present
news
Use synonyms
 have qualified by
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 economy.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, many
people
Use synonyms
 has connection to other country by importing or exporting for their business.
For example
Linking Words
, when a few
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 face disasters, some
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 that can
eat
Wrong verb form
be eaten
show examples
 or
drink
Wrong verb form
drunk
show examples
 in their
lives
Use synonyms
 
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential for living, so that related stocks would be increased or descresed by these situation. 
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, the modern
news
Use synonyms
 are helpful for
business
Check wording
businesses
show examples
 to develop their market.  In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the current
news
Use synonyms
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to
consider about
Verb problem
focus
show examples
 only
hot
Change preposition
on hot
show examples
 issues regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
lives
Use synonyms
, the focus on supporting global markets generally benefits the
countrys'
Check wording
country's
show examples
 economy. By providing fast announcements and potential movements in
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 platform, some business which activatied in
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 market can achieve greater economic progress.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or agree in part, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Make your main idea easy to see in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then add one simple example.
task response
Use examples that fit the topic closely. Your business example is useful, but explain more clearly how news changes daily life for normal people too.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'As a result' carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning changes too fast. Keep one idea in one sentence when possible.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. The second paragraph says why news is not useful, but the essay overall says news is important. Make the balance between these parts clearer.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You try to look at both sides of the topic, which helps your answer feel complete.
task response
You use one real-world example about trade and stocks to support your view.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sensationalized
  • biased
  • misinformation
  • alternative sources
  • public opinion
  • awareness
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • information overload
  • shaping
  • productive activities
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