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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, many students are choosing to study online from home instead of attending classes in person at a university or college.Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In modern times, technology has rapidly altered education systems and exposed new ways . There are those who say that a bunch of students are choosing to study online from home,
while
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 others prefer attending
classes
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 in person at a
university
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 or college. In
this
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 essay, I will examine positive aspects of
this
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 trend outweigh the drawbacks. Those who support
that
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the idea that
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 attending
classes
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 individually at an institution or school has several benefits,
such
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 as creating a good bonding with classmates, physical activities and involving practical
classes
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. To illustrate, making a relation with a friend helps to understand the value of a relationship, and attending practical
classes
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, where pupils can gain more knowledge, which more convenient method to understand the theory.
For instance
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, a young learner who regularly participating the practical
classes
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, where he is learning easy technique which are more efficient.
On the other hand
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, online learning from home
also
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 has fewer
are
Verb problem
apply
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advantages, which play a vital role for certain scholars who are living in different locations or countries.
For example
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,
a
Correct article usage
an
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 undergraduate student who lives in Bangladesh, but he wants to study from reputed
university
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, which is located in England , and it is possible
by
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through the
show examples
 online education system. I personally believe that attending
classes
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 in person at a
university
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compared
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, compared
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 to online
classes
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 have more beneficial.
To conclude
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,
although
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 a smaller portion of scholars are joining online
classes
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, participating in
classes
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 at the
university
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 has more advantages.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that attending
classes
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 in person has more advantages
to outweigh
Correct word choice
than
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 disadvantages .

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early if you think the good points are stronger or not.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it more.
task response
Use examples that are more real and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect in a simple order: main idea, reason, example.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow. Use short sentences and simple linking words like first, also, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one topic in one paragraph. Do not mix many points in the same part.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for essay shape.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides, so you addressed the topic.
task response
You used some examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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