IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Online education is becoming more and more popular.Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face to face education soon. Others say that traditional education irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Due to
Linking Words
 digital transformation, online learning is becoming increasingly popular compared to traditional learning.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a section of society believes that online
platform
Check wording
platforms
show examples
 will become an alternative to traditional
education
Use synonyms
 in the future because of the more benefits for learners, others think that it is impossible to replace on-campus school. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. The development of advanced technology has changed the obstacles to
education
Use synonyms
, allowing the community to study their interests regardless of where they live. Students must have access to many courses, programs, and applications whenever they want, which gives them more flexibility and convenience at any time. People can start studying foreign languages and professional skills through virtual learning systems every single time. There are a sizable number of websites on the internet that learners can take advantage of to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning progress.
For instance
Linking Words
, Coursera is one of the most famous websites to provide free
education
Use synonyms
 for a diverse range of subjects without time limitations.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some elderly people prefer that conventional face-to-face
education
Use synonyms
 is still the most fundamental and effective way to teach scholars. Offline classrooms often provide stronger discipline, direct guidance from teachers and interaction with classmates.
In person
Correct your spelling
In-person
 communication can improve concentration and encourage deeper engagement in the learning journey to achieve their goals faster. In conclusion, a mixed curriculum that combines advanced technology with conventional learning culture would improve academic performance for the next generation. E-learning offers more flexibility and access to countless sources of
leaning
Use the right word
learning
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 teaching in the classroom provides invaluable skills
such
Linking Words
 as discipline, communication, and negotiation skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about online learning well, but the side for school is shorter.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end. 'I partially agree' is not fully clear because the task asks if online learning will replace school.
task response
Add one more clear example for traditional learning, not only for online learning.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences that match the question more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences are not natural. Keep links simple and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point with one explanation and one example.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The Coursera example is relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are mostly easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: