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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Online education is becoming more and more popular.Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face to face education soon. Others say that traditional education irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Due to
Linking Words
 digital transformation, online learning is becoming increasingly popular compared to traditional learning.
Although
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,
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 a section of society believes that online
platform
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platforms
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 will become an alternative to traditional
education
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 in the future because of the more benefits for learners, others think that it is impossible to replace on-campus school. I partially agree with
this
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 statement.
Body · 1
The development of advanced technology has changed the obstacles to
education
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, allowing the community to study their interests regardless of where they live. Students must have access to many courses, programs, and applications whenever they want, which gives them more flexibility and convenience at any time. People can start studying foreign languages and professional skills through virtual learning systems every single time. There are a sizable number of websites on the internet that learners can take advantage of to make
a
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learning progress.
For instance
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, Coursera is one of the most famous websites to provide free
education
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 for a diverse range of subjects without time limitations.
Body · 2
Conversely
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, some elderly people prefer that conventional face-to-face
education
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 is still the most fundamental and effective way to teach scholars. Offline classrooms often provide stronger discipline, direct guidance from teachers and interaction with classmates.
In person
Correct your spelling
In-person
 communication can improve concentration and encourage deeper engagement in the learning journey to achieve their goals faster.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a mixed curriculum that combines advanced technology with conventional learning culture would improve academic performance for the next generation. E-learning offers more flexibility and access to countless sources of
leaning
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learning
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,
while
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 teaching in the classroom provides invaluable skills
such
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 as discipline, communication, and negotiation skills.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about online learning well, but the side for school learning needs a bit more detail.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Add one more clear example for the school side to make your ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts are clear, but a few lines feel hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and word use. A few sentences do not sound natural, so the flow becomes weak.
coherence cohesion
Build each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain it step by step.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to see: online learning gives freedom, while school gives direct support.
task response
You use one real example, Coursera, which helps your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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