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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart provides key information about the percentage of the total world
population
Use synonyms
 in four
countries
Use synonyms
 included:
India
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
,
Usa
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
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.
This
Linking Words
 chart shows the difference in the
population
Use synonyms
 from 1950 to 2002
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it predicts the
population
Use synonyms
 percentage for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that in
1950
Punctuation problem
1950,
show examples
china
Use synonyms
 represents the highest
Use synonyms
number of
Check wording
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 among these four
countries
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.
India
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 comes in the second place
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
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. In
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
 there was a
noteble
Correct your spelling
notable
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 from around 23% to 20%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
still it
Correct word order
it still
show examples
 remains the highest among the other four
countries
Use synonyms
. There was
also
Linking Words
 a decrease in the
Use synonyms
number of
Check wording
apply
show examples
population
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 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
India
Punctuation problem
India,
show examples
 there is an
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
.
According to
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 what is
expeceted
Correct your spelling
expected
 to happen in 2025,
India
Use synonyms
 will have the highest
Use synonyms
number of
Check wording
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 around 18%.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of the
population
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 in the
countries
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 (
China
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,
USA
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 and
Japan
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) throughout the years
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
 for
india
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 the
population
Use synonyms
percemntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is rising.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, india, china, usa, japan, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • World population
  • Percentage
  • Projection
  • Demographics
  • Trend
  • Significant change
  • Ranking
  • Shifts
  • Decline
  • Growth
  • Comparative
  • Population distribution
  • Notable
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Population dynamics
  • Data interpretation
  • Summarize
  • Trends over time
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