IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Social
media
Use synonyms
 plays an essential role in our life
nowdays
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 can't imagine living without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
. It helps
people
Use synonyms
 to contact and communicate with each other even through long distances. Social
media
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
nowdays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 is not only for
communcating
Correct your spelling
communicating
 and knowing other
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 news.
Use synonyms
Nowdays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 aims to make our life easier.
For example
Linking Words
, many platforms have accounts for online
shopping
Punctuation problem
shopping,
show examples
 you can shop around the world by just setting in your couch. In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 is very useful for many
people
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as busy housewives with their children or a
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
 with
multilple
Correct your spelling
multiple
 tasks that should be done. Social
media
Use synonyms
 is not only for shopping or having fun. Now,
people
Use synonyms
 use social
media
Use synonyms
 for education purposes as well. It helps
people
Use synonyms
 to get information and
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their knowledge about any topic they need to know more about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in our life
but
Punctuation problem
but,
show examples
 it shouldn't replace the face to face interaction. The physical interactions
still
Verb problem
are still
show examples
 important
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family gatherings or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friends meeting
Check wording
friends' meetings
show examples
. These gatherings help
people
Use synonyms
 to learn how to communicate and let them feel the importance of having each other. The eye
contacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
contact
show examples
 and the
hand to hand shake
Replace the word
handshaking
 still
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 essential. I believe that we have a big gift
Use synonyms
nowdays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 which made our world more comfortable and easier
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 we should always keep in mind that
this
Linking Words
 gift
should't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be on the top of the real treasure we have
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is the physical interactions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say if the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Add one more bad point of social media replacing real meetings, and explain it.
task response
Use more clear examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a more clear way: one part for good points, one part for bad points, and one last part for your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'However', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and easier to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You included both good points and bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas move in a natural order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
What to do next:
Look at other essays: