Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

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Some young people decide to start their own
business
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rather than work for a company. What are the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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tendency? The majority of individuals prefer to become self-employed
instead
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of working for another company.
This
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essay will discuss the positive and negative aspects of running their own
business
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. On the one hand, first and foremost, establishing your own company leads to flexible working hours, as you can determine your own schedule.
Moreover
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, you will have more time for your hobbies and other activities.
According to
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a survey conducted by the State Statistics Committee among young people aged 18–30 in Azerbaijan, individuals who run their own businesses tend to be more successful.
On the other hand
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,
although
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there are multiple advantageous aspects of being your own boss, several drawbacks are
also
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inevitable. Bankruptcy is one of the major concerns.
Furthermore
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, you can face high levels of stress and responsibility, since all important decisions depend on you.
In addition
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, self-employed individuals may have to work long hours in order to maintain their
business
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and earn a stable income. In conclusion,
although
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running your own
business
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may provide greater flexibility in your personal life, it can
also
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be stressful, as you must be careful with every decision you make.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points and bad points matter for young people.
task response
For task response, add one more clear benefit and explain it with a simple example.
task response
For task response, the survey example is not very specific to the main point. Use an example that clearly shows flexible time or money risk.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part shape, which is good. To get a higher score, make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas are listed but not fully developed. Explain each point a little more before moving to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words are used well, but do not use too many. Keep them natural and simple.
task response
You answered both parts of the question: benefits and drawbacks.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the ideas move in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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