IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that people who commit minor crimes should be given community service instead of being sent to prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The debate of whether lawbreakers should spend time in prison or perform
community
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 service for minor
crimes
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 has been ongoing for many years.
Firstly
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, I personally believe that once a person breaks the law, spending some time away from their usual lifestyle to reflect on their actions is absolutely necessary.
This
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 can act as a deterrent and prevent future
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offenses
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offences
show examples
.
However
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, for minor
crimes
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, imprisonment may not always be the most effective solution.
Instead
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,
community
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 service can be more beneficial, as it allows offenders to contribute positively to society
while
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 learning from their mistakes.
Moreover
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, prisons are often overcrowded, and sending individuals who committed minor
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offenses
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offences
show examples
 may worsen the situation.
In contrast
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, alternative punishments
such
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 as
community
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 work can reduce pressure on the prison system
while
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 still ensuring accountability. In my opinion, a balanced approach should be adopted. Serious
crimes
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 should be punished with imprisonment,
while
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 minor
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offenses
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offences
show examples
 can be addressed through
community
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 service or rehabilitation programs. In conclusion,
while
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 prison is necessary for serious
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offenses
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offences
show examples
, alternative punishments are often more appropriate for minor
crimes
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, as they benefit both the individual and society

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree in the first part, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
For task response, add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more real.
task response
For task response, develop each main idea more. Right now, some points are good but short.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but you can link ideas more smoothly. Use clear link words only when needed.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body paragraph have one main idea and explain it fully before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the first body paragraph partly supports prison, while your final view supports community service for minor crime. Make the line of ideas more consistent.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order from problem to solution.
task response
For task response, you discuss both prison and community service, so you address the topic well.
task response
For task response, your conclusion is clear and matches most of your main ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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