IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a wole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantage.

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Not really. From my perspective, nowadays people are too
much
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apply
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addicted to social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms
such
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 as Facebook
,
Correct word choice
and
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 Instagram. They
also
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 waste their
time
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 scrolling down reels.
Moreover
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,
Some
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some
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 individuals use social
media
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 for educational purposes and research purposes
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such
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, such
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 as watching YouTube tutorials and gaining knowledge.
In addition
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, social
media
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 has made
everyone
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 dependent on it.
Everyone
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use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 it
as
Change preposition
for
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 their enjoyment and
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time pass
Correct word order
to pass the time
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. They lose their creativity and productive
time
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 because of spending too much
time
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to
Change preposition
on
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 social
media
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. Day by day
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 are becoming
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
. They always prefer to stay alone and enjoy watching
contents
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content
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.
Nevertheless
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, technology has made
everyone
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's life much easier. Individuals are dependent on technology in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
As a result
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, social
media
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 has become
a
Correct article usage
an
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 addition to
everyone
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particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
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 for young people. In conclusion, I firmly believe that it depends on individuals how they use social
media
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. It has many beneficial sides
also
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.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if the good points are stronger than the bad points, or not.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it more.
task response
Use one or two real and specific examples, not only general ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short introduction that repeats the topic and gives your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Use words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one topic in one paragraph. Do not mix good and bad points in the same part.
task response
You gave both bad and good sides of social media.
task response
Your conclusion shows your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, like moreover, in addition, and nevertheless.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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