IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or more problems

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A celebrity is a famous person that have been heard about at least from people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 interested in
hiw
Correct your spelling
his
 field of
actiion
Correct your spelling
action
.
Linking Words
Consequently
Punctuation problem
Consequently,
show examples
 by the moment that
this
Linking Words
peorson
Correct your spelling
person
 is so largely known
its
Fix the agreement mistake
, their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 or moments of it
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be known by people,helping in
this
Linking Words
 social media . On one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
this
Linking Words
continue
Replace the word
continuous
 interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 his daily
life
Use synonyms
 promotes
its
Fix the agreement mistake
his
show examples
 name and profession so that
it
Fix the agreement mistake
he
show examples
 has only to
gain about
Verb problem
focus on
show examples
 what concerns the benefits of
this
Linking Words
condition
Punctuation problem
condition,
show examples
while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 his
life
Use synonyms
 is observed
continuasly
Correct your spelling
continuously
,at every moment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he cannot dispose of private moments that could aid him to conduct a better personal
life
Use synonyms
.He cannot desire plans or desires because everything,in the name of being published or recognised,
so his privacy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 would not
be
Verb problem
make him
show examples
 happy enough.
This
Linking Words
 condition could
also
Linking Words
 disturb the members of his family and
comes to comes
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 to create
rough-difficult
Punctuation problem
rough, difficult
show examples
 relationships between them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if being a celebrity has more good points or more bad points.
task response
Add a short end part. A clear last sentence helps show your final view.
task response
Give one or two real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and shorter sentences. This will help your meaning stay clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a clear order: first benefits, then problems, then your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Check how words connect inside each sentence. Some parts are hard to follow now.
task response
You stayed on the topic and wrote about both benefits and problems.
task response
You gave two main sides of the issue, which is a good start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks and a basic two-side structure.
coherence and cohesion
You used linking words like 'On one hand' and 'while on the other hand'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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