Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today´s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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History
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has always been regarded as an important subject because it teaches people about the past and helps them understand how societies developed.
However
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, others believe that in the modern
world
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,
science
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and
technology
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are more valuable because they are closely connected to economic progress and
future
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careers.
Although
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both subjects are essential, I believe
science
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and
technology
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should receive greater attention today
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while
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, while
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history
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should still remain a core part of education. On the one hand,
history
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plays a crucial role in helping
students
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understand the mistakes and achievements of previous generations. By learning about major events
such
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as wars, revolutions, and economic crises, people can avoid repeating the same errors in the
future
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.
For instance
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, studying the causes and consequences of the
World
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Wars teaches
students
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the importance of diplomacy and international cooperation.
In addition
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,
history
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helps individuals understand their culture and identity,
as well as
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respect the traditions of other societies.
As a result
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,
students
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can develop a broader perspective on the
world
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and improve their critical thinking skills.
On the other hand
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,
science
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and
technology
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are becoming increasingly significant because modern society depends heavily on innovation. Scientific discoveries and technological advancements have improved healthcare, communication, transportation, and education.
For example
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, medical
technology
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has enabled doctors to treat diseases more effectively and save millions of lives.
Furthermore
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, many of the fastest-growing careers today are related to fields
such
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as artificial intelligence, engineering, and computer
science
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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who study these subjects are more likely to find good employment opportunities and contribute to their countries’ economic development. In my opinion,
science
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and
technology
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are more important in today’s
world
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because they directly influence people’s daily lives and shape the
future
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of society.
However
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,
this
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does not mean
history
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should be ignored. A balanced education is necessary because
history
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teaches valuable lessons about humanity,
while
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science
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and
technology
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provide practical solutions for modern challenges. In conclusion,
history
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remains important for understanding the past and learning from previous mistakes,
whereas
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science
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and
technology
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are essential for progress and
future
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development. I believe schools should
prioritize
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prioritise
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science
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and
technology
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slightly more, but
history
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should continue to be taught as a fundamental subject.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your opinion clearly. To reach a higher band, make your opinion stronger in all body parts, not only at the end.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear and easy to follow. You can add one more deep point about why history is still needed now, not only for the past.
task response
For task response, your examples are good, but they are quite general. Try to use one more specific real case or a more detailed example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with introduction, two body parts, opinion, and conclusion. This is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking words are used well, such as 'however', 'for instance', and 'therefore'. To get higher, vary them a little more and make some links more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main part has good support. To improve more, make topic sentences a little sharper so the main idea of each part stands out more.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and clearly say your own view.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a clear conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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